Dealing with death is a life experience that no one wants to face. Life can often seem like swimming in the ocean during high tide. Even if we know how to swim and jump over the big waves at just the right time, when we least expect it-wham! We are broadsided, and find ourselves spinning and bouncing off the bottom of the ocean with a mouth full of sand. If we fight, it takes longer to get to the surface. But if we float with the current, we come right to the top. Floating when we are frightened is difficult. It takes trust and concentration. Dealing with the death of a loved one is similar. In order to cope, it takes trust.

Death is nearly always accompanied by questions - especially "why?". Whether we are facing our own death, or the death of someone we love, we want answers. Why is this happening? What did I do to deserve this? Is there life after death? The sooner we learn to float - to trust - the easier it is to discover the answers we are seeking.

I don't think I'll ever learn to have that trust. This week alone, 3 deaths happened. And of course I was asking myself the question "Why?". And only today I am able to write about it, to talk about it.

First and for most my heartiest condolences to Shikin Nordins' family on the lost of your beloved grandfather on Tuesday. I am feeling you girl. I know that you were really close to your Atuk and I think that the poem you did for your Atuk is beautiful. May he rest in peace.

My second condolences would go to Shikin Alaudin's family. Though we were not super close back at UNITEN, I did have the chance to have small talk with her now and then. We would say hi, and 'borak2' when ever we bumped into each other at Murni. Went to visit her on Monday evening with Ain. It took my whole strength to contain myself to not break down then and there just looking at her. I lost the battle. I shed tears throughout my Yassin prayers for her. What was I doing? She's only 25, my age for God's sake! and there I was reciting the Yassin for her. It just didn't feel right. All I wanted to do was shake her and ask her to get up. The last thing I did that day was to whisper in her ear for her to get better cause we were all waiting for her and so that she would be strong and get herself together to fight the disease. I left with a heavy heart full of prayers for God to provide the best for her. I guess God has bigger plans for her. I got 2 messages on Wednesday with news that I wish I never got. Shikin Alaudin, you will be missed.

My third and last condolences would be for my dear friend Munirah in Korea. On Thursday, she had a miscarriage. I contribute these daisies to your baby Mun. I'm so sorry. It must be super hard for you to lose something that was a part of you, a part of your body. Wish I was there to give you a hug and tell you that everything will be OK. Just remember that there are so many people around you that care about you. Distance is not an obstacle. We are always with you.

Lastly, I'd like to say that the passing on of a fellow Muslim brother or sister reminds us that death is inevitable. It is therefore a duty for every Muslim to work towards cultivating good deeds and eliminating evil ones for the sake of Allah. God is testing us and we shall endure with triumph.