Scribbled on 11/02/2008 09:39:00 AM

~Goodbye~

Dealing with death is a life experience that no one wants to face. Life can often seem like swimming in the ocean during high tide. Even if we know how to swim and jump over the big waves at just the right time, when we least expect it-wham! We are broadsided, and find ourselves spinning and bouncing off the bottom of the ocean with a mouth full of sand. If we fight, it takes longer to get to the surface. But if we float with the current, we come right to the top. Floating when we are frightened is difficult. It takes trust and concentration. Dealing with the death of a loved one is similar. In order to cope, it takes trust.

Death is nearly always accompanied by questions - especially "why?". Whether we are facing our own death, or the death of someone we love, we want answers. Why is this happening? What did I do to deserve this? Is there life after death? The sooner we learn to float - to trust - the easier it is to discover the answers we are seeking.

I don't think I'll ever learn to have that trust. This week alone, 3 deaths happened. And of course I was asking myself the question "Why?". And only today I am able to write about it, to talk about it.

First and for most my heartiest condolences to Shikin Nordins' family on the lost of your beloved grandfather on Tuesday. I am feeling you girl. I know that you were really close to your Atuk and I think that the poem you did for your Atuk is beautiful. May he rest in peace.

My second condolences would go to Shikin Alaudin's family. Though we were not super close back at UNITEN, I did have the chance to have small talk with her now and then. We would say hi, and 'borak2' when ever we bumped into each other at Murni. Went to visit her on Monday evening with Ain. It took my whole strength to contain myself to not break down then and there just looking at her. I lost the battle. I shed tears throughout my Yassin prayers for her. What was I doing? She's only 25, my age for God's sake! and there I was reciting the Yassin for her. It just didn't feel right. All I wanted to do was shake her and ask her to get up. The last thing I did that day was to whisper in her ear for her to get better cause we were all waiting for her and so that she would be strong and get herself together to fight the disease. I left with a heavy heart full of prayers for God to provide the best for her. I guess God has bigger plans for her. I got 2 messages on Wednesday with news that I wish I never got. Shikin Alaudin, you will be missed.

My third and last condolences would be for my dear friend Munirah in Korea. On Thursday, she had a miscarriage. I contribute these daisies to your baby Mun. I'm so sorry. It must be super hard for you to lose something that was a part of you, a part of your body. Wish I was there to give you a hug and tell you that everything will be OK. Just remember that there are so many people around you that care about you. Distance is not an obstacle. We are always with you.

Lastly, I'd like to say that the passing on of a fellow Muslim brother or sister reminds us that death is inevitable. It is therefore a duty for every Muslim to work towards cultivating good deeds and eliminating evil ones for the sake of Allah. God is testing us and we shall endure with triumph.

Al-Fatihah to those who have left us to be by God's side.

5 Responses to ~Goodbye~

  1. .:fara:.
    Sunday, November 02, 2008 1:02:00 PM
    dibah..
    death is something that is out of our control..when? and how? no one have the answer..

    i do feel the lost too.i've been there, and it's not easy to accept the fact that the person that you love the most is no longer by your side. but beleive in Allah..coz He knows better.

    Allah loves them, that's why He took them from us, and Allah loves us too, so that we can prepare ourself to meet Him..

    ayat aku cam ntahpape ntah...but i know u understand wht i'm trying to say :)
  2. MiShi_Ka
    Sunday, November 02, 2008 4:45:00 PM
    thanks fara...i guess it takes time to accept reality...but we have to move on, like u said so that we can prepare ourself to meet the Almighty.
  3. Nadya
    Sunday, November 02, 2008 7:23:00 PM
    Al-Fatihah..

    p/s-Dear, u tertukar my blog address with mama's...huhu
  4. MiShi_Ka
    Sunday, November 02, 2008 10:05:00 PM
    ampun yayie...kite dah tukar dah...ehehe
  5. -QIN-
    Monday, November 24, 2008 3:56:00 AM
    *arms raised* I admit of not reading your blog from sept 22 till just now due to not having you as my link. (Dulu u ader feedburner thingy) But not anymore! ;D So forgive me for not untagging myself from your tag (will be done prompto!) and had almost missed your condolences for my late grandfather. Thank you. Your post made my eye all teary but in a good way.. Thanks again dear.